Preston's fourth birthday party was quite the event! When we asked him what theme he wanted, he immediately said Toy Story. He was quick to add that he also wanted Buzz and Woody to be there. And why wouldn't he think that after Peter Pan and Captain Hook made an appearance last year?

As you can see, he was thrilled to see Buzz and Woody. Buzz and Woody almost passed out from the heat, but they survived!

It was Preston's first pool party, his first party to invite his little friends, and the first party he got to enjoy with Kashiku and Lemlem. I don't think we could've made him any happier than he was Saturday night!

Thanksgiving list

My dad is a newspaper publisher and has done a Thanksgiving list in his column for as long as I can remember. Since entering the blogosphere, John Mark and I have tried to honor that tradition as his children. Here goes:

I am thankful to serve a loving God, a forgiving God, and a miraculous God.

I have a wonderful, amazing, patient husband. I honestly think I could do an entire list just on reasons I am thankful for Ivan. I started to put "you have no idea what this man puts up with," but a lot of you probably do :)

A precious child who is energetic, funny, smart, and courteous (most of the time).

A town where many are concerned about my well being.

Jeff Sosman, possibly the kindest, most compassionate oncologist on the planet. AND he is brilliant.


Nights when Preston asks me to be his cuddle buddy before he goes to sleep.


Steven Tyler is not really leaving Aerosmith.


I still have a year and a half before Oprah stops doing her show.


My new nephew, Kashiku and his beautiful eyes. Just a few more days until I get to love on him!


Preston's exuberance over meeting Kashiku and having a boy cousin.


A dad who lives up to all my "perfect dad" dreams.


Catlin and Hannah - God gave me these nieces who are PERFECT for me. I love the time we spend together and I love their sweet hearts when they play with Preston.


A brother and sister-in-law who are obedient to God's calling.


My niece (name can't be disclosed yet) in Ethiopia and her beautiful smile.


A mom who still parents me every single day, prays for me daily, and always wants what is best for me.


The legacy of Wallace York


A paternal grandmother who never gives up and always has a smile on her face when I show up at her door


Jimmy Dyer - his gift of teaching and his sweet spirit

Facebook and the opportunity to reconnect with people I had lost touch with.


The view from my living room - a constant reminder of the glory of God's creation and of God's blessings in my life.


A maternal grandmother who "gets me" and loves me unconditionally


Kenneth Wayne Phelps joined "the miracle club"


Sandi Walker and Penny Mahan - I literally thank God for them daily and will have them on my Thanksgiving list EVERY YEAR. They gave me my mobility back AND the ability to care for my child again. How can you ever thank someone enough for that?


A sister-in-law who lets my child play with moon sand at her house so I don't have to at mine!


The parenting DT class at Southside this fall - we all had such a great time in that class and got so much support from each other.


I'm thankful that "my story" never gets old. I'm thankful that not a day goes by that I don't remember that my healing was truly miraculous.


The power of prayer


My commute to and from work - while some times it would be nice to get home quicker in the evenings, I love that time to listen to my ipod and decompress before I get home to my favorite guys.


The music at Southside Baptist Church


My child is kept by his two loving grandmothers while I work, so I never have to worry about him.


Thinking about Preston riding in a combine with my father-in-law or going to a football game in with my dad and knowing the grandfathers are enjoying it even more than Preston is.


The anticipation of Michael and Sarah's child and all the spoiling that will come with it.


My girlfriends from high school - many of them have matured so much and have become wonderful, godly women who bless me with their friendship and prayers.


I survived the 2009 ice storm.


Preston's first trip to Disney world. And I think he loved the fireworks almost as much as his mother!

Vicki Viar - she keeps me sane in all my scared cancer moments. She loves me through my high maintenance moments.

My new Disney Christmas tree

Starbucks

Glee

Preston's birthday surprise

My nephew, Kyle, was the videographer so I could be with Preston during the surprise. I bet you can figure out who the "characters" are. And I think they earned the grandparents of the year award! Preston was scared at first, but as he gets into the golf cart mid-scene, you can hear him say "Are you Granddaddy?" Once he figured out who they were, he was thrilled!

Cincinnati weekend

Ivan and I just returned from a weekend trip to Cincinnati. We took the girls and Preston along. The girls and I went to see Taylor Swift and Keith Urban in concert on Friday night, and we all went to the Cincinnati Zoo on Saturday. We also stopped briefly at Bernheim Forest on the way back to Princeton to give the kids a chance to burn off some energy.

The trip went well, but I am glad I am only the mother of one! Not that the girls weren't good - they were great! Three is just three times the work! Catlin and Hannah are awesome cousins and definitely enteretained Preston well this weekend. He loves them and I am so thankful for the relationship they have!

The first picture is of the kids waiting to eat on Friday night. Preston was less than thrilled about having to be still for more than half a second. The next picture is of all three kids at the zoo. The third picture is of Hannah reading a bedtime story to Preston. As you can see, that girl never misses an opportunity to pose! The fourth picture is of the girls at the concert, and the last picture is of the girls at the Canopy Walk at Bernheim Forest. Hannah asked if she could bungee jump the 75 feet to the ground!

Shaving

This is partially an excuse to show off the functionality of my cute new Flip camera and partially to show how adorable my baby is!

Future wrestler???

Behold the future of CCHS wrestling!!

My favorite Halloween face

Preston and I attended a great Halloween party for kids last weekend. It was at the home of Amy Littlejohn and hosted by Amy and Jenny Whittington. The photo is of Jenny's youngest little boy, Collin.

Preston and Collin were having a grand time playing in the mega-bubble machine. Preston tripped and fell and knocked Collin down in the process. Once they were on the ground, Preston was just wallering on top of Collin trying to assure Amy's husband (Mike) and I. He just kept shouting "I ok! I ok!" We were like, "Great! Now get off Collin!"

So once poor Collin was able to get up, he emerged all smiles as you can see. The great part about his face was the grass booger! He didn't even know it was there. Mike and I just whipped out the cameras and started snapping. After we were sure we got some good shots, we called Shane (Collin's dad) over to clean him up. Poor Collin! But isn't the picture priceless?

My fairy princess??

So who ever said that if you have a son that you can't have a fairy princess? :)

I'm sure Preston will not be excited about this picture one day, but as you can see, he had quite the day with his cousins yesterday!

Elaine came over to help with a little project and Preston asked if he could go home with her. When she brought him back, Preston came bounding through the door shouting, "Daddy!" I'm sure that was prompted by Elaine trying to stir her brother ;)

The girls had obviously played a little dress-up with Preston as all big cousins should do! Preston thought he was a butterfly and he was very proud of it. We had to pry the wings off him to get him in the bath tub!

While I'm sure one day he will wish he had never had those wings on, I thought his little magic moment was sweet!

A boy and his dog

Oh, how Preston loves Prince (aka "Princey-poo" which sounds like "Pee-poos" when Preston says it)!

Hannah's Disney trip

We took Hannah to Disney in January. I had no idea how much the IL-2 was still affecting me (I got out of the hospital two weeks before) and/or how out of shape I was. The trip was pretty difficult physically, but still magical. Ivan and I were both amazed at how different two little girls from the same parents can be!

Hannah loved Disney as much as Catlin did. She was our brave niece and even rode Tower of Terror! There were too many highlights to mention really, but some of the best moments were the princess makeover and the Princess lunch.

Check out a few of the photos.....

Back to life

It has been almost a year since I last posted. To say I've had a lot going on would be an understatement. I hope to make a VERY long story at least semi-short, but I'm not sure if that is possible.

In April of '07, I started having some shoulder pain. I really just thought it was because I was still nursing Preston and packing him around and he was getting pretty big. I went to see a sports medicine doctor and he gave me some exercises to do to strengthen my shoulder. Then the pain started in the other shoulder and kind of alternated from side to side depending on the day. We went on vacation with my parents and my brother and sister-in-law in May and my neck really started bothering me then. We were sleeping on a pull-out couch though, so I passed it off. One night was super bad....I had to wake Mom up because I couldn't even lie down my neck was hurting so badly.

I went to my family doctor after we got home and he referred me to physical therapy. I just kept getting weaker and weaker. Finally I went back to the sports medicine doctor and he ordered an MRI of my neck. I had the MRI and they asked me to wait in the waiting room as they were sending it to be read immediately. At that point, I knew my cancer was back. I never really thought that was the issue until that moment. So, I called my friend and coworker, Tammy, and we hiked over to the doctor's office when they told me the MRI had been read and I needed to go back and speak to the doctor.

Dr. Chumbley told me that I had a tumor on my spine and he would be contacting my oncologist at Vandy. He couldn't give me much information except that he said it probably wasn't good. He was able to reach my nurse, Vicki, who contacted the melanoma surgical oncologist. They set me up with an appointment with a neurosurgeon that week. I had a PET scan a couple of weeks later that showed a spot in my lung and a spot in my left shoulder blade. Surgery followed on July 5. I had radiation in August along with another neck surgery because one of my bones chipped off, so Dr. Weaver put in a steel cage to stabalize my neck.

On 8/20, I had another PET scan and the news was devastating. I was covered up with cancer. I had "innumerable" tumors in my lungs and liver. What???? It's still crazy for me to think about it. My parents, Ivan, and I went to see the melanoma medical oncologist to discuss options. He gave a few options, but only one option led to a potential full recovery and those odds were slim (insert the voice of my mother saying "we don't believe in odds"). The drug had to be delivered while I was inpatient at Vandy and the toxicity levels were high. I just felt like I had to do it because I had to live!

I was admitted to Vandy on 9/5. I did feel pretty horrible, but I'm not sure how much of that was the IL-2. I was still in a neck brace from the second surgery (if you have never been in a neck brace, they are MISERABLE). I was emotionally and spiritually at rock bottom, and I was literally dying. I did have side effects from the medicine, but mine were apparently mild in comparison to the effects other people have had. I got discharged on 9/10, went to Lexington to be the matron of honor in my cousin's wedding on 9/15, and then went back in for more IL-2 on 9/19.

I got out of the neck brace at the beginning of October and was finally able to drive again and thus start physical therapy. I had lost all bicep function in my right arm. I think PT is as much a miracle drug as any chemo. I got so much stronger so quickly (relatively speaking). Caldwell County Sports Medicine is great!

I went in for a CT scan on 10/30. I was feeling pretty good about it as I wasn't having any symptoms. I just assumed that if I was literally covered up with cancer in August but was feeling pretty ok at the end of the October, things had to have at least stabalized. Drum roll......we definitely got the miracle that we had been praying for! So much of the cancer had just melted away!!!!

I went through another round of IL-2 in December and returned to work at the end of January 2008. I just had another CT scan in Feb., and more of the cancer has disappeared. There is still disease in my left shoulder (although it hasn't grown), so we are doing one more round of IL-2 beginning 4/17. Regardless of the outcome, this will be my last round. Three is the most doses Dr. Sosman will give anyone.

I am leaving so many things out. So many heartbreaks, so many blessings, so many thank you's to individuals.....

There is no way I could mention everything and everybody. I will say, if you're going to have devastation, Princeton, KY is a great place to be. This town will pray for you and support you like no other town in the world. My church and especially my Sunday School class have been marvelous. My family (including inlaws) was amazing. My husband is more wonderful than words could describe. Guess I should include Madisonville too! My friends from there, coworkers, and boss all supported me tremendously. As far as prayers go, I got prayers from all over the state! It helps to have an uncle who teaches at a seminary and preaches across the state to solicit prayers....a preaching grandfather as well.

God is a great and miraculous God. Miracles still happen every day. Yes, there is still a chance this melanoma could take my life, but I have already been given more time than I expected and more importantly, quality time. I've been able to hold Preston again and care for him by myself for several weeks now.

I've skipped a lot of milestones on this blog...Preston's first birthday, Caroline's wedding, Halloween, Christmas, etc. I haven't decided if I'm going to post pictures from any of that or not. Regardless, I'm going to keep up the blog going forward.

My cousins and their respective spouses are talking about doing a cousin blog. If that goes through, I guess I'll move future posts over to the new site, but for now, I'll be posting here. Welcome back to me!!!

Ten months

My baby is ten months today. Wow, it has flown. After crying for 45 minutes during the night, he blissfully slept in this morning while I got ready for work. While I hate waking him in the morning, I love watching him sleep peacefully for a few minutes before I wake him. This morning, he was rolled over on his side. That's a new one on me. Usually he's on his tummy with his legs tucked up underneath him.

Somehow he stayed asleep, or at least in the drowsy, dreamy state with his eyes closed while I changed him, fed him, and laid him in the floor so I could get dressed for work. I LOVE the feeling of his big heavy head on my shoulder when he's sleepy. I think I could hold him like that all day.

Constant conflict

Who knew how conflicting motherhood would be? There were sooooo many things I was unprepared for and these conflicting emotions sum up a lot of those things.

Sometimes when I'm with Preston, I can't wait for a break, yet once I'm away from him, I can't wait to get back to him. He is so clingy with me these days that sometimes it wears on me, but when he nuzzles down into my neck for comfort, there is no better feeling in the world. I could hold him and rock him forever.

We worked and worked to get him to sleep through the night (which is still not totally consistent) but the first time he did it, it scared us to death! Surely he must have stopped breathing!

And part of me is really looking forward to weaning him when he turns one in just a couple of months. I'm ready for freedom in a greater than four hour window (yes, I'm gone from him longer than that, but only for work). Yet at the same time, I'm greiving the weaning already. I know I should just be enjoying the present, but I'm going to miss the soothing effect that nursing has on him. I love it when he hikes his leg up on my shoulder as if he's just hanging out on a jungle gym, or the sweet little smile he gives me when he's full.

Who knew that your baby could make you long for your pre-baby freedom and yet relish the new life that you have all at once?

Easter

Easter was a crazy busy day, but a good day. Preston looked at his stuff from the Easter bunny and seemed to be impressed. He really liked pulling the fur out of his big purple bunny.

I picked up the girls for Sunday School and Ivan drove separately with Preston because we were running a little bit behind. Apparently the women at Southside have similar tastes because there were four different little boys, including Preston, who had on the same Easter sweater.

Ivan took the girls back to their house after church so they could spend some time with their parents and we had Easter dinner with my family at Nan'-na's.

The church Easter egg hunt was supposed to be on Sat. and we had made the decision to not even mention it to the girls, even though I have taken them in previous years, just because the weekend was going to be so busy with Grandma's surprise party and John Mark and Karen's visit. Then Catlin called me Sat. morning and told me that church had called her and said the Easter egg hunt (which she previously knew nothing about) had been changed to Easter Sunday at 4:30. Bummer. That meant they wanted to go and I had to have all three kids by myself as Ivan, Mom, and Dad all had practice for the Sunday evening Easter service at 4:30. The girls had a big time though.

Catlin got to take the Lord's Supper for the first time. I ended up out in the hall with Preston and Hannah as both were being loud. Of course, when one of the deacons brought out the bread and grape juice, Hannah asked about it and I told her, "When you get bigger and ask Jesus into your heart," etc., etc., the whole discussion. She told me that her daddy had asked Jesus into his heart. I said, "What's your daddy doing right now?" She said, "Laying tile." Then I said, "Do you know what that makes your daddy?" And she said, "A goober?" She is so funny! Then I told her that makes him a backslider. So she told me she is a back slider at Misty's. I'm pretty sure she means that she goes down the slide backwards at Misty's (her babysitter's), so I explained that a backslider is someone who knows they should go to church but they don't. She said, "Oh yeah, my daddy's a backslider." I can't wait to tell Doug!!!

Pics with the Easter Bunny

As you can see, we took Hannah and Preston to Paducah to see the Easter bunny. Different weekends and that wasn't the main goal of either trip. Actually, we hadn't even considered it when we took Hannah. We had taken Hannah and Catlin shopping with us to buy them Easter dresses. However, when Hannah saw that you could sit with the Easter bunny, she went crazy. Catlin thought she was too old for that :(

We went back to Paducah this weekend to try to find a few outfits for Preston and a couple of things for me. I didn't get half the stuff done that I wanted too. Preston wasn't very cooperative. He's really in a clingy phase. I hope that phase is a short one. He's wearing me out. However, the line for the Easter bunny was short again, so we couldn't pass up having his picture made too. I was a little worried that he wouldn't go, but once he saw the hair on the Easter bunny's arm, he was sold!

And Hannah's pose was not at all prompted by an adult. The photographer took one photo with Hannah just sitting and smiling and then she said, "One more," and Hannah popped those hands up to her face. What a character!

New Resolution

First of all, I love Tivo. It's one of my top five material possessions and EVERY new parent should have one. That said, I watched Tuesday's Oprah on Tivo yesterday. It was about various subjects, one of them being an idea that a pastor at a Unity church had that developed into a bracelet campaign. He preached a sermon about not complaining and now they have a bracelet they use (and will mail to others who request it). I think it says "complaint free world." It's purple. You're supposed to wear the bracelet for at least 21 days. According to this guy, it takes 21 days to truly change a habit. Every time you complain, you're supposed to change the wrist the bracelet is on and start all over with another 21 days.

So, I think I'm going to try it. I'm not going to get the bracelet, I'm just going to try not complaining. He and Oprah discussed what was truly a complaint and some of that is open to interpretation. Oprah's question was, "If you honk at someone in front of you because they haven't noticed the light is green, is that complaining?" The minister said it depended on your intent.

That means I'm going to do some of my own interpreting. I'm not resolving to be nice all the time. That's just too much change at once. So, if I don't like someone, I'm still going to say, "I don't like him." Wow, as I type that, that sounds so juvenile. Maybe I need to work on that too. Still, it's not a full-fledged resolution. However, I'm going to work on this "no complaining" thing. No more complaining about the temperature in my office, being tired, Preston crying, etc. We'll see!

Easter candy

I truly think the Easter holiday brings with it the best holiday candy of the year.....Peeps, Cadbury eggs, Reese's eggs, and M&M speckled eggs.

Now, I know you can get most of the above items at other holidays now. Peeps are now available at Halloween and Christmas with different colors and shapes, Reese's makes trees at Christmas, etc. However, I've gotta stick with the originals. A ghost Peep is just not the same as a rabbit peep. And the Reese's egg is so much better than a Reese's. There is so much more peanut butter.

The first sighting of Cadbury eggs in the spring just brings me joy. Now I have a new favorite as well.....M&M speckled eggs. At first, I was worried that these would be like malted eggs...yuck. Well, they're not. Think M&M's the size of peanut M&M's but without the peanut! Just huge chunks of chocolate with a crisp candy coating. Off to the grocery I go!

Happy Baby

Here is a recent picture of Preston after we had been playing outside watching Ivan through balls for the dogs to catch and bring back to us. Preston LOVES watching "our" dog, Prince. Really, he's owned by Doug and Elaine but he doesn't know that as he decided to live at our house long ago. I don't like him, but Hannah and Preston seem to love him, so I guess I have a small soft spot for him.

I certainly love it when Preston sees Prince and starts kicking his legs because he is so excited. Both Sam and Prince are really good with Preston. Preston has pulled Sam's hair and Sam has tolerated it.

A great day of mothering

I have a wonderful boss and he has let me work just four days a week since I started the third trimester of my pregnancy. I usually take my day off on Friday, but this week, I was off on Tuesday as Mom was out of town and Louise was not feeling well. FINALLY, I had a day that turned out to be what I thought motherhood would be. Don't get me wrong, I've had good days before now, but Tuesday was my first day off with Preston that was just perfect....well close....

He woke up at 5:20. That's not so perfect. But he slept through the night and I guess beggers can't be choosers. We played and watched Sesame Street and I actually got to take a shower while he was engrossed in the tv. I turned off the water expecting to hear crying, but he surprised me. We met my friend, Brandy, and her little girl, Claire, for breakfast. Trust me, there were days I never thought I'd be able to sit through a meal out with Preston if Ivan or Mom were not there to help me.

Anyway, breakfast went well. It was the first time Brandy and I had dined with kids, so we didn't get to chat like we normally do, but it was still nice. The weather was great, so Preston and I walked across the street to Bowles to visit with Shelia and then headed to see my grandmother as she had not gotten to see him in awhile.

I had to go to the grocery store too and he fell asleep between Grandma's and the grocery. He miraculously stayed asleep from the car to the grocery and then through the car ride back to the house. He woke up as soon as we got home and we had more play time. Then, he started getting sleepy around three and I took him with me to my bedroom praying that he would sleep for more than 30 minutes so I could get a nap too. He slept for two hours! Now, I'm not a co-sleeper except for the occasional nap. I'm just too light of a sleeper for it. I didn't sleep for the whole two hours that Preston did, but I slept off and on. And it was nice that even when he did wake me with his wiggling and noises...I love to just know he's there and see how beautiful he is.

Finally......a motherhood day as I thought they would all be...8.5 months into Preston's life.....boy, was I dumb!

Take my quiz

Cindy's quiz Take my quiz! Take This Quiz See Scores Make Own Quiz